...

The girls at the mall.

Their gaze piercing.

Every bare piece of my rind reflecting.

A whirlpool of fantasies swirls in their minds.

My flesh a mere means to an end.

......

...........

................

They probably aren't thinking about that.

Yet out the corner of my eye I see her camera light blinking.

I am a nervous system ripped from it's body.

Ripped from me by anna.

My sophilist bones can not conceive of a reality where those girls are not thinking of me.

Yet when I met mila, When our bodies first touched.

It felt like I knew the fullness of the world for the first time.

She was the first person I had ever known that I thought of as somebody that existed independent of me.

When all you've known is violence it's easy to convince yourself that you are the only caring person in the world.

When she listens to me when i tell her to stop it feels as if i have both more and less control over the world then i previously thought.

It's a comforting feeling.